Mark Ruffalo Was Thrown Out of The Golden Globes After His Brutal Remarks, “Get Outta Here, You’re Toxic”

Golden Globes Mark Ruffalo

Hollywood award shows are rarely dull, but even by Tinseltown’s standards, this year’s 83rd Golden Globe Awards delivered a truly unprecedented spectacle. Amidst the usual glamour, self-congratulation, and carefully crafted political statements, actor Mark Ruffalo ignited a firestorm that ended with him being unceremoniously escorted from the Beverly Hilton Hotel. His brutal, unvarnished condemnation of … Read more

Robert De Niro Plans Exit From New York After Mamdani’s Takeover, “I Can’t Live Here Anymore, He Wants My Savings”

Zohran Robert De Niro

Robert De Niro, a man who has spent half a century perfecting the art of looking disappointed in other people, has reportedly reached his personal breaking point with New York City. According to sources close to the actor, De Niro is now seriously considering packing up his remaining belongings and leaving the city he once … Read more

Greta Thunberg Has Been Banned From the US, “Stay in the UK”

Greta Thunberg US

In a move that has sent shockwaves through global political and activist circles, the United States has reportedly barred Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg from entering the country, allegedly telling her to “stay in the UK” following her recent string of controversial protests and arrests abroad. According to unnamed sources “close to the situation,” U.S. … Read more

Erika Kirk Files A $50 Million Lawsuit Against Robert De Niro For His Remarks About Late Charlie Kirk

Erika Kirk and Robert De Niro

The ongoing, surreal clash between the culture war and basic human decency reached its inevitable climax this week as Erika Kirk, the widow of the late conservative firebrand Charlie Kirk, filed a jaw-dropping $50 million defamation and emotional distress lawsuit against legendary actor Robert De Niro. The legal action, spearheaded by a consortium of attorneys … Read more

BREAKING: Elon Musk Starts a Petition To Classify LGBTQ+ People as “Mentally ill” In The US

Elon Musk LGBTQ+

In a dramatic and polarizing move that has shaken the political and cultural landscape of this fictional universe, tech magnate Elon Musk has reportedly launched a global petition calling for transgender individuals to be formally classified as “mentally ill” by national and international health authorities. The petition, unveiled late Tuesday night, has already sparked intense … Read more

Elon Musk Considering $150 Billion Mega-Acquisition of CNN and Warner Bros in Push To “UnWoke” the Network

Elon Musk CNN

In a twist that seems engineered specifically to melt the internet, billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk is reportedly “strongly considering” a $150 billion offer to acquire both CNN and Warner Bros., according to people familiar with the entirely hypothetical scenario swirling through Silicon Valley lounges, Wall Street backchannels, and Musk’s own Twitter replies. While no formal … Read more

Kevin Costner Is Launching His Own Non-Woke Hollywood Movie Studio, “End Of The Woke Era”

Kevin Costner Non-Woke Studios

Kevin Costner has set Hollywood buzzing with his unexpected announcement that he will launch an independent movie studio built around what he describes as a return to “unfiltered, story-first filmmaking.” The project, which he has informally labeled “the end of the Woke Era,” represents one of the most direct pushes yet by a major industry … Read more

Kid Rock Files $100 Million Lawsuit Against Jasmine Crockett After Tense Live TV Clash

Kid rock and Jasime

The confrontation between Kid Rock and Jasmine Crockett became one of the most dissected media moments of the year, not because of theatrics or shouting, but because of the sudden turn in tone during what should have been a calm, feel-good conversation. The televised segment had been promoted as a discussion about national charity initiatives, … Read more

Elon Musk’s Call For Boycott Costs Costco 100K Members Overnight, “They’re Going Down”

Elon Musk Costco

The world of bulk retail was plunged into chaos yesterday after Elon Musk, Chief Everything Officer of the Internet and now apparently, the Grand Arbiter of U.S. Trade Policy, launched a scorched-earth campaign against Costco. The catalyst? The wholesale giant’s entirely reasonable, yet apparently treasonous, decision to sue the Trump administration for a refund on … Read more

Erika Kirk Declares War on Somalian Migrants, Says “Our Country Would Be Better Without Somalian Migrants, Starting With Ilhan Omar”

Erika Kirk and Ilhan Omar

Erika Kirk, the newly appointed leader of Turning Point USA, made a statement that immediately captured national attention, declaring that the country would be better without Somalian migrants and suggesting that the process should begin with deporting Ilhan Omar. Speaking at a press conference staged in a hotel ballroom decorated like a cross between a … Read more